Friday, May 15, 2009
A couple of days ago I set up an alter dedicated to attracting prosperity and abundance. Today as I was heading to the bank, after work, to deposit my modest paycheck I passed by a bright, shiny penny. In the split second it took to pass that penny my entire thought process about attracting abundance "changed".
Often when I see a penny just sitting there ready for a new owner I'll think to myself,"Ohhh a lucky penny, yay! I'll leave that for someone else to find, won't that be nice.", today was no different.
Abundance was tapping me on the shoulder and I said, "No thanks." But it was just a penny, right? Wrong. It's a symptom of a larger problem.
So why would I do that? Is it a fear of looking silly? Maybe I see no value in a penny? Or maybe I've been programmed to think that abundance is only for everyone but me? Well, it's all of the above.
I do fear looking silly picking up a penny but really its a fear of being judged by those who might see me do it. I've lived nearly my entire adult life in a world where I do everything I can to hide my poverty (although that has been changing recently, mostly out of anger; feeling under appreciated and marginalized but that's another post). I feel shame for being poor as if it makes me somehow less worthy than everyone else. I can't answer why that is, it just is.
We all remember the stories our parents or grandparents told us about how "a penny used to be worth something" and of all the things you could buy with just a penny. Times have changed, the Canadian Government not too long ago was petitioning for the eradication of the penny because the costs associated with making a penny are more than what a penny was worth. It's not surprising then that I look at pennies as something that weighs me down but offers no value.
Our bodies (astral and physical) and mind build memories through our actions, thoughts and through the actions and thoughts of those people who we associate with. Could it be that every time I passed up a penny I was programming my mind to reject prosperity and abundance? Yes. By rejecting something so small and seemingly insignificant I continue to reject other opportunities that I think are too small to bother with out of sheer habit and conditioning. And by thinking that "wouldn't it be nice" for someone else to find it I also conditioned myself to into thinking that everyone was more deserving, more appreciative and more worthy than myself.
Who knew that a penny could be worth so much?
On my way back from the bank I spotted that bright, shiny penny. I picked it up, it was wet and gritty from dirt (oh great now I'm attracting dirty money). As I looked at it I made a conscious decision to know that I am worthy of prosperity and abundance, then, I put it in my pocket.
So I ask, what's a penny worth to you?
Posted by Anwynn at 6:12 PM